Writing Prompts – Page 443

How to Be Miserable at College or University

Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Back scratches. Led Zeppelin. Puppies. College success. What do these things all have in common? They are all so totally overrated. Let’s just think about this logically:

Cookie dough and ice cream, together—why overdo the yumminess?

Relieving itchiness with the appropriate application of friction—a pointless endeavor, really. You’ll probably just get itchy again anyway.

The combination of intelligent lyrics, soaring vocals, and insanely original guitar riffs—like, aren’t you just so over it?

Furry bundles of happiness—can you say, “ew”?

And finally, feeling satisfied and fulfilled on a daily basis while you learn, grow, and change by succeeding in college—I mean, really, let’s not be ridiculous.

You don’t want to learn how to succeed in college. You know better than that! You, my friend, are looking to be miserable at college, and if there’s anything I know about in my plain ice cream, itchy, silent, puppy-less life, it’s how to be miserable. Here are some tips to help you become just as miserable as I am while you trudge your way through college.

1. Study, study, then study some more.

School is about learning, right? Well, hop to it, pal! The only way to attain college success is to make a 200% commitment to getting good grades. Your roommate wants you to come out for dinner? No way! You get invited to a party? Don’t even think about it! You have the urge to watch a movie? Tough luck, bud! You’re trying to be miserable, and one of the best ways to do that is to remove the concept of “balance” entirely from your student life. Place your entire self-worth on your academic college success, and I guarantee you’ll be miserable in two weeks flat.

2. Party like a rock star.

If dedicating your entire existence to academics isn’t enough to make you miserable, consider doing exactly the opposite. You’re not looking to learn how to succeed in college—or in life, for that matter—so don’t bother pretending that you care about assigned reading, attending class, or even sleeping like a normal human. You’re only young once, so now is the time to be intentionally irresponsible. Party enough to make yourself feel like the student loan you took out has gone completely to waste, and then think about how long it will take you to repay that wasted investment. Consider your transition to utter misery complete.

3. Take classes you hate.

You know what’s way cooler than being a happy history major? Why, being a miserable biology major, of course. Since you’re not looking to learn how to succeed in college, I advise you to take only classes in which you have no interest. When I think of students who haven’t attained college success, the first people who come to mind are the aspiring doctors whose parents chose their majors for them. They had no hope of making it through their undergrads, let alone completing medical degrees, and they knew it. They were much more miserable than the people who were actually getting something out of their post-secondary educations, so I encourage you to emulate them in your quest for college misery.

4. Don’t try to make friends.

You already have lots of friends, and you want new ones about as badly as you want college success. Who has time to meet new people or to try new things? Sure, this is going to be the only time in your life when you’re literally surrounded by thousands of people who are very qualified to be your friends. You’re all around the same age, you’re all dealing with similar issues, and many of you probably share common interests. If you were looking to be happy, you would totally take advantage of your situation and develop relationships with new people. However, because you scorn happiness and all those who strive for it, you’ll be much better off clinging to high school friendships with people who live in different cities, states, or maybe even countries. Those unsatisfying relationships will be sure to keep you good and miserable.

5. Transform your dorm room into a cozy cocoon, and make darn sure that you never become a butterfly.

Your bedroom should be your sanctuary. This is where you will study, sleep off that wicked hangover, or just avoid other people. If you make your dorm room comfy enough, you’ll never have much reason to leave. You can’t possibly achieve college success or general life satisfaction from the safety of your room, which is why your room is where you must stay. Don’t join any clubs, don’t sit on any councils, and certainly don’t consider spending time in public places unless absolutely necessary. You might experience growth, and self-development is certainly the very last thing you want in your quest to be miserable at college.

Conclusion

There you have it: a complete guide to post-secondary misery. Personally, I think that aiming for unhappiness is the smartest way to approach college. After all, you can’t be disappointed if you never have any hope to begin with, right? However, if you give the misery thing a go and realize it’s not exactly your cup of tea, you may consider checking out some our other resources for students who actually want to know how to succeed in college. You know, it’s good to have a back-up plan.

How to Get an Editing Job

A simple guide to help you get an editing job

Do you want to work as an editor but need some information about how to get an editing job? Well, you’ve come to the right place!

Experience counts

Now, first things first: Although not absolutely necessary, it would be helpful to have a university degree in something like English, journalism, technical communication, or publishing. And beyond your love of language and reading, attention to detail, and overwhelming urge to improve communication, you need some practical experience. This can be extremely helpful in your quest to get an editing job. If you don’t know where to start, the simple answer is just do it. Put the word out and offer to edit anything you can get your hands. Experience is always greatly valued by employers. Another way to gain experience is through internships (search web sites such as bookjobs.com). They are also good jumping off points for getting advanced editing jobs.

Education matters

Another excellent option is to take online training courses in the areas in which you want to specialize. For example, there are online grammar training courses that will improve both your written and spoken English. As well, you could look into online editing training or online proofreading training courses that will allow you to hone your skills and make you more marketable to freelance websites. These online courses are comprehensive and offer an interactive experience with games and quizzes to help you retain what you learn. Completing this kind of training can give you a boost when trying to get an editing job.

Online resources

There are also numerous other online resources you can take advantage of when you start planning how to get an editing job. For example, look for job openings posted on company web sites and search the different employment web sites. Scour job boards that specialize in writing and editing—these can provide a multitude of clues as to how to get an editing job. You can also narrow your search to specific geographic locations.

Be direct

Try using the traditional direct approach when determining how to get an editing job. Make a direct contact action plan, starting with a list of organizations for which you might like to work. Next, find the appropriate contact person and get in touch. The goal is to meet the person with the hiring power. You can also contact employment agencies and search the classified ads.

Network

Networking—either traditional or online—is also a great way to help you get an editing job. In fact, the Milwaukee-based staffing company, Manpower Group, states that networking is still the best way to get a job. Creating profiles on networking sites and connecting with everyone you know in the fields of editing, writing, and publishing can be very beneficial.

Join in

Do be sure to join a professional association, such as the Editors’ Association of Canada, the National Association of Independent Writers and Editors, the Society for Editors and Proofreaders, the American Society of Magazine Editors, or the American Copy Editors Society. Not only is this a great way to keep up with industry news, but these associations also post national and regional job opportunities and provide useful information on how to get an editing job.

Sell yourself

Whatever method you use when deciding how to get an editing job, make sure you learn how to write a resume so that your skills are highlighted correctly. This is the basic building block for landing a job and making money doing what you love. Before you begin, list all the details you think are relevant. Provide a summary of your qualifications, details of your editing experience, and your educational background. List any professional organizations you belong to and any editing seminars or workshops you have attended.

Have you ever considered editing for an online editing and proofreading company? It might be worth a try.

Ready, set, go…

Use these tips for how to get an editing job and prepare to be employed! Apart from the opportunity to correct mistakes, improve communication, and learn, you will also encounter interesting situations, exciting challenges, and fascinating people.

Having a Book Editing Career

A guide to landing a book editing career

There are many different types of editing jobs in many different industries. From academia to film, and broadcasting to publishing, editors are necessary to ensure quality output. In the publishing industry, editors can play various roles, including those of executive editor, acquisitions editor, developmental or content editor, and copy editor.

As a book editor, how do I fit into the publishing process?

The importance of good book editing should not be underemphasized. Some people think that good writers don’t need editors. This is a myth. All writers and all books require editing (and several rounds of it). The book industry consists of efficient linkages between its different components, a critical one of which is the book editor. You must keep in mind that without good book editing, there would be a missing link in the publishing process.

As a book editor, you must not only be able to wield a red pen but must also be able to critique in a positive way and explain the rationale for the changes that you suggest. You must be able to consider and critique the overall structure of a book while keeping its intended purpose and audience in mind to edit the text for clarity, consistency, style, and readability. You must have a thorough understanding of the different stages of book development in order to help authors ultimately produce a book that will sell in today’s uber-competitive market. This means you must be familiar with the various aspects of the book industry. In particular, you must know what sells and know how to tweak text to help sell books.

What skills do I need to embark on a book editing career?

To be successful in a book editing career, you must have strong communication, interpersonal, analytical, business, and organizational skills; an excellent command of language and grammar, and the ability to work under pressure and meet deadlines.

How do I begin a book editing career?

No single educational or occupational path leads to a book editing career, but most people in this line of work tend to have a number of things in common, such as a love of language and reading, a great respect for authors and what they are trying to achieve, attention to detail, and a university degree. To be a book editor, you must understand the various genres of writing, as well as the ins and outs of the publishing industry. While a university education is not always required for book editing career, it would be well worth considering getting a degree in English, with a focus on writing and publishing. There are also many postgraduate publishing programs in Canada (e.g., the Master of Publishing program at Simon Fraser University, the Book and Magazine Publishing program at Centennial College, the Publishing program at Ryerson University, and the Creative Book Publishing program at Humber College) and in the U.S. (e.g., the Publishing and Writing degree at Emerson College, the Columbia Publishing Course at Columbia University, and the MS degree in Publishing at New York University). There are a number of online editing courses to jump start your book editing career.

When you are just starting out, it is critical to get practical experience. Try working at your university newspaper or editing other students’ essays. Join professional associations, such as the Editors’ Association of Canada, the Society for Editors and Proofreaders, or the Society of Editors (these often have student rates). You can network via these sites, make useful contacts, and keep abreast of job openings for those interested in book editing careers. Seek out internship opportunities; this kind of experience will be impressive on a resume and might lead to an entry-level position (see the article “Entering the Book Publishing Industry: Negotiating the Three Phases of Arts Internships“). Experience in the publishing industry is greatly valued by employers, so internships and/or entry-level jobs are good jumping off points for a book editing career.

If you are serious about a career in book editing, be sure to check out the available resources, such as Editing Fact and Fiction: A Concise Guide to Book Editing by Leslie T. Sharpe and Irene Gunther, the ebook Become a Book Editor by Jodi L. Brandon, and the e-book The Editorial Department by Britanie Wilson and Jeremy Lucyk.

We hope that you have a successful and satisfying book editing career!