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As I’ve pointed out in a number of my articles on this subject, there is a lot of confusion about the differences and similarities between reference letters and recommendation letters. For instance, which is which, and why?

It’s confusing enough for the average person who only has to write one of these letters every once in a while. However, when you look into it in-depth as I have, and realize that many of the so-called “experts” don’t even know the differences between a reference letter and a recommendation letter, the general confusion is very understandable.

I tried to demystify this confusion somewhat in a couple of articles I wrote a couple of years ago, and in the first version of my best selling book Instant Recommendation Letter Kit by drawing a bit of a line between reference letters and recommendation letters.

That helped, but it still left a gray area of overlap between the two.


Explaining The Confusion

Since then, I’ve been watching the whole issue carefully and have conducted additional research, leading me to conclude the following:

1. Many people and institutions use the term “recommendation letter” to mean BOTH recommendation letters AND reference letters (about 2/3).
   
   
2. Many people and institutions use the term “reference letter” to mean BOTH reference letters AND recommendation letters (about 1/3).
   
   
3. Both groups are talking about essentially the same type of letter in their minds and they don’t seem to draw any distinction between the two.
   
   
4. Thus, those who use the term “recommendation letter” ALWAYS use that term. Those who use the term “reference letter” ALWAYS use that term.

… and “never the twain shall meet”, as the saying goes.

So, for the purposes of this article on “reference letters” I am going to use the broad definitions that I have employed elsewhere, as follows:

Reference Letters “Defined”

Originally “reference letters” were general factual statements about someone and/or their situation that did not make any specific recommendation about the person.

I define it as a “reference letter” if it is somewhat general in nature, and is not addressed to a specific requestor. Typically “letters of reference” are addressed; “To Whom It May Concern” or “Dear Sir/Madam”.

Normally, letters of reference include character reference letters and employment reference letters.


Reference Letter Samples

Following are three real-life sample template examples of typical reference letters:

Reference Letter – Character reference letter.

Letter of Reference – Business customer reference.

Reference letter – Teaching reference.


Reference Letter Strategy

In any case, somehow over the years the line between the two types of letters has become blurred and many people and institutions now use the two terms interchangeably. As far as those organizations are concerned both letters are exactly the same thing.

Accordingly, please note that many colleges and universities, as well as some companies and institutions, use the terms “reference letter” and/or “letter of reference” when referring to exactly the same thing as what many other colleges, universities, companies and institutions call “recommendation letters” and/or “letters of recommendation”.

So when dealing with these types of institutions make sure you use whichever term they use in the same way that they use it. DON’T try to convert them to your terminology. That will just confuse things and you will pay the price.

For a similar discussion on “letters of recommendation” go to the following:
Letter of Recommendation Examples

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In addition to standard letter-writing dos and don’ts, there are a number of basic guidelines that apply to most situations related to the writing of letters of recommendation specifically. These are usually more “situational” than “how to” in nature.

These recommendation letter guidelines are important to both note and apply, since writing letters of recommendation is always a somewhat tricky and delicate matter. That’s because they almost always affect the reputation and future of another person.

The following is an adapted excerpt from my best selling ebook/book Instant Recommendation Letter Kit.

THE STRATEGIES
The following strategies apply primarily to the writing of letters of recommendation in their various forms (i.e. recommendation letters, reference letters, commendation letters, performance evaluation letters).

1. Write It Only If You Want To
If you are asked by someone to write a recommendation or reference letter about them, you don’t have to say “yes” automatically. If it’s someone you respect for their work, and you have mostly positive things to say, by all means write the letter.

There is no point saying “yes” and then writing a letter that says nothing good about the person, or worse still, concocting a misleading positive assessment of someone.

So, whatever you do, don’t get sucked into writing a recommendation inappropriately out of feelings of guilt or obligation.

2. If You Must Refuse, Do It Right Up Front
On the other hand, if someone asks you to write a recommendation letter for them, and you know you’ll be hard-pressed to keep it positive, say “no” right away.

There is no point in hesitating and leading the person on to believe that the answer might eventually be “yes”.

A gentle but firm “no” will usually get the message across to the person. Explain that you don’t think that you are the best (or most qualified) person to do it.

3. Suggest Someone Else
If you feel you should refuse, for whatever reason, it may be helpful for you to suggest someone else who you think might have a more positive and/or accurate assessment of the person.

That other person may be in a better position to do the assessment. Usually there are a number of possible candidates, and you may not actually be the best one.

In fact, I have seen a number of cases over the years in which people requesting recommendation letters have not requested the letter from the obvious or logical choice. This usually happens when the requestor doesn’t like the person who is the obvious choice, and/or they are worried about what that person will say about them.

4. Write It As You See It
Writing a less than honest recommendation letter does no one a favor in the end. It is likely to backfire on you, the person being recommended, and the new employer.

Also, many employers and head-hunting agencies check references these days.

How would you like to be called up and have to mislead people due to questionable things you may have written in a reference letter?

5. Be Honest, Fair, and Balanced
Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to writing recommendation letters. At the same time, try to be fair and balanced in your approach.

If in your estimation, a person has five strengths and one glaring weakness, but that weakness really bothers you, make sure you don’t over-emphasize the weak point in the letter based on your personal bias. Just mention it in passing as a weakness and then move on.

6. Balanced Is Best
An overall balanced approach is the best one for a letter of recommendation. Even if your letter generally raves about how excellent the person is, some balance on the other side of the ledger will make it more credible. After all, nobody’s perfect.

There must be some area where the person being recommended needs to improve. A bit of constructive criticism never hurts and it will make your letter more objective in nature.

BOTTOM LINE
The most important point to take from the above is that it is your choice as to whether, and how, you will write a recommendation or reference letter.

It’s an important type of letter that will have a definite impact on the future of the person about which it is being written, so don’t agree to write one unless you are willing to give it your utmost attention and effort.